Dudes really need to practice “Cool! Lemme kno if you need anything.”
It’s the near perfect response to women saying “No.”/“Im good.”/“I’d rather wait for X.” Etc.
And it’s a lot simpler than giving us a 13 minute run on sentence validating whatever the fuck we’re tryna politely to shut down.
CW: Past trauma
@denikombucha Funny, I was just getting thru a bunch of Trauma inflicted on me by my mom that left me a self-hating, misandric mess. (And now Trans)
The kind that makes you Jump and do your Very Best to be There, and Helpful, and Talking, and submissive.
I hadn't realized I'd been programmed. I think a Lotta guys have been Programmed: That 'No" or "I'm Fine" has been used to Abuse them.
You don't go into 13 minute Run on sentence mode unless you're trying Desperately to understand why you just freaked out and Panicked.
Yes, Practicing taking a 'No' gracefully is important for Guys, no arguments there.
Understanding Why rejection sensitive dysphoria is coming into their life and Why they get angry and anxious when Women say certain stuff, or behave a certain way and Lead to these anti-social behaviors takes Months of therapy.
I got this way too. For me, I was trying to be Helpful, and engaging because I didn't want anyone to get angry with me. Growing up... I didn't realize that my mom was an Abuser. I didn't know it wasn't appropriate.
I used to be this guy, and I know I'm doing the Equivalent of the run-on sentence here. It's just that "No, I'm Fine" can carry connotations and conditioning that can be impossible to break, even when you know they're There.
CW: Past trauma
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