(1/2) One of the things I'm having a difficult time with is finding any sort of background to actually connect with. My mother doesn't talk about her family. When I was young and asked about our background, I got a list of 4-5 European countries, with varying degrees of conviction and a veneer of disinterest. I know a bit about my father's side, but I also know that they were so toxic that we were intentionally kept from ever meeting them.
(2/2) They were both basically runaways that did the best they could to wipe the slate clean of their pasts and heritage while reaping the benefits of their whiteness. It's a thing that I think about sometimes.