And considering my personal history and the history of where I come from, the frothy mouthed rants and taunts of bigots I don't know and don't think about isn't that big a deal to me.
Yeah, I'd rather be liked than not, but I'm not going to sacrifice my mental health trying to untangle the biases of a person who doesn't give me the basic human courtesy of getting to know me before they judge me.
Ha, that's just not an experience I'm gonna engage in.
And I'm not sorry.
If one come at me real, I'll do the same. It's that simple. We may fuss and argue, but there is an opportunity for common ground because we're both coming from an honest place
I am just not interested in anything less than that. All the insults, jabs and taunts are not going to change that fact.
And I'm not going to take on the anxiety of people who can't/won't be real. I'm not going to do one's emotional labor b/c they're lashing out b/c of their insecurity.
I value myself too much for that.
People on here use their angst and hostility to get my attention, and when it does and I treat them accordingly, they use my reaction as a justification of their disrespect and toxicity.
Ha, and that's a child's game. That's what someone who simply cannot engage with me with any type of authenticity does.
And I understand people have tolerance for this kind of behavior. However, I don't.
Not out of anger or malice. But I'm just not going to be a vector for people do sort out their issues.
At the end of the day, I know people say wild shit about me all the time. When you speak about the topics I speak about, it just upsets people who would rather not think about them.
But most do it an attempt to draw me down to their level because they *know* they cannot compete with in the space I exist in. I'm just... better.
In the past, it probably bothered me more, but people's anxiety about what I am is _not my problem._
And I'm not going to accept it like it is.
Another #ebook sale!!
Ebook or PDF copies of my thesis “La Sangre Llama” are always available for purchase! Pls email me at artistmarciax @ gmail dot com. Subject “Thesis” and we’ll get your order sorted asap!
Short summary: latine & Caribbean history, culture and a phenomenological reading of it (and contemporary black womens art practice)
And in a SHOCKING turn of events, the Oscars go right back to being a participation trophy party for white dudes. Again.
So Sweet Pages and I had a conversation about us not seeing each other in awhile.
It was a kind of intense conversation, but what I appreciate is that we pushed through our personal interpretations of what was happening to get to the core of what mattered, which is how we feel about each other.
To my surprise, we're on the same page as far wanting to continue our relationship and seeing where it goes.
And to think I had mentally prepared myself to just let it all go.
@Are0h In community-building efforts like yours, you always have to value the affirmations of your supporters more than the unfounded criticism of your detractors; you have to examine who you continue to build space for, and ask yourself whether it really matters that you anger people whom the space never intended to coddle: it doesn't.
The emotional impact of white people's juvenile taunts and attempts to demonize my name pales in comparison to the messages I get from Black and Brown folks who recognize what I'm trying to do and affirm my continuous efforts to bring about an authentic community that affirms and protects them.
There will never be a moment where I get tired of creating better online spaces for them.