AreOh is a user on playvicious.social. You can follow them or interact with them if you have an account anywhere in the fediverse. If you don't, you can sign up here.

I've always been an in the trenches kind of dude. A behind the scenes guy. I don't like a whole of attention because it's not necessary for what I want to accomplish.

I used to think gutting it out and enduring suffering was the way to 'prove' I was 'dedicated'. As I get older, I find that was just some silly juvenile shit I liked to tell myself.

The real shit is self care. The real commitment is taking care of yourself so you can keep working for extended periods of time.

Putting oneself in a position to endure suffering doesn't make one any more or less committed to the work they're trying to do. Being consistent is so much more important than shallow examples of what toughness is.

Toughness is getting up everyday and sticking to your plan. Toughness is earning the trust of your community. Toughness is committing yourself to a goal and structuring your life to help you achieve it.

And doing that requires the greatest challenge of them all.

Be kind to yourself

AreOh @Are0h

If you need sleep, then sleep. Don't sacrifice eating to continue working. If you start feeling irritable take a break for while.

Your well being is an integral part of whatever you are trying to build. It is absolutely necessary to prioritize your wellness not only for your work, but just for your day to day.

We all make sacrifices for what we believe, and that's cool. However your wellness should not be one of them.

Do whatever you need to do to maintain that. It's fucking worth it. Trust.

· Web · 51 · 66

@Gargron We're all on our own journey, my man.

Sometimes it takes a while to unlearn bad habit. Especially in the web game.

@Are0h OTOH, when you don't feel like doing something productive, it's hardest to start. Once you're up to speed, it's easy to keep going. Taking a break means you risk that you'll lose momentum and it'll be hard to start again.

@Wolf480pl It's a risk worth taking. There's a reason one would feel that way. Addressing that issue is better than just ignoring it and not being able to focus effectively.

@Are0h when I'm focused on coding, and start getting hungry, I barely notice it, it doesn't affect my focus (up to a certain point). I only realize how much hungry I actually am when I take a break.

@Wolf480pl But you're still hungry. Whether you address it or not is a decision you have to make, but your still ignoring a need you have.

@Wolf480pl My point has already been made. For whatever reason, you disagree with it. That is why you are here.

@Are0h what I'm saying is:
Ignoring hunger for a limited period of time will not disrupt my focus. Chances are, I'll still be more focused than if I took a break, ate, and started coding again.

So it's not "adressing the issue" vs "not being able to focus".

@Wolf480pl And, again, my response, is that you are still hungry and you are still ignoring a need for whatever reason.

And you may feel you are more focused when you are hungry, but that is simply false. The body needs food, so you're not operating at your peak by ignoring that.

If it makes you feel better to think of yourself as a person that can work in self inflicted difficulties, then fine. But it's still detrimental to your work and your well being.

@Are0h
>Toughness is committing yourself to a goal and structuring your life to help you achieve it

As a student, I don't get to structure my day to help achieve my goal. My day is being structured by a bunch of people giving me tasks and deadlines in an independent and uncoordinated way.

@Are0h they may as well arrange the tasks in such a way, that I have to pull 2 all-nighters, and then have 2 weeks of doing nothing. And I couldn't do anything to spread the load.

@Wolf480pl That simply isn't true. You make certain decisions that necessitate you having to do that.

You are not a helpless by standard. You just need to make better decisions. Blaming an institution that you are paying to go to as the reason for engaging in some unhealthy behaviors is a shifting of responsibility.

@Wolf480pl So you don't get to select your schedule? Your teachers? Your classes?

And the act of choosing to go to school in itself is a definitive decision to structure your life a particular way to achieve a goal.

@Are0h yes, but when choosing to go to university, or when choosing my schedule, I don't know what assignments I'll get, when I'll get them, and what the deadline will be. It's a game where I have to do the first move, and the opponent can act on that.

@Wolf480pl Your instructors are not your adversary, so that is a poor analogy.

And last I checked, you have the ability to alter your schedule/classes, etc if it doesn't work for you.

It doesn't make much sense to spend money on something that doesn't work for you.

If you don't like it, change it. Make it work for you. You're paying for it.

@Are0h
>you have the ability to alter your schedule/classes, etc if it doesn't work for you

on which university? in which country?

>It doesn't make much sense to spend money on something that doesn't work for you.

Here, in Poland, I don't have to pay for my education.

@Wolf480pl Ha, I'm not getting into a ridiculous back and forth with you because you want to be contrary.

You know what I'm saying. If you want to disagree because you like to work hungry, do you.

It does not make you a better developer and it does not make you any tougher. It's purely a subjective exercise.

Enjoy your day.

@Are0h
I know what you're saying, and I partially agree with it. Actually, I think following your advice would be ideal.

What I'm trying to say is that life is not black-and-white, and there will be cases where the ideal solution can't be realistically applied.

I don't want to be contrary.
I'm just seeking truth.
Maybe also seeking an interesting discussion.

If you feel I've wasted your time, sorry.

@Wolf480pl Obviously life is not black and white. Nothing in life is, so it's fair to assume what I am talking about falls into that.

Of course there are moments where you can't work in ideal conditions. The point is not let those conditions become consistent behaviors that become toxic.

It's important to establish patterns that prioritize one taking care of themselves in whatever conditions so it doesn't come to that, hence my thread.

@Are0h it's plain scary just how irritable one can get from mental exhaustion. and it's usually due to pushing yourself to quickly finish something, ending up so badly counterproductive

@valerauko Exactly. One can work much more effectively by doing the little things to take care of themselves. Take breaks, drink water, eat, sleep, etc...

Unfortunately our industry has normalized completely toxic work behaviors to the point where wrecking your mental state is seen as 'noble'.

It takes awhile to unlearn this because it's so pervasive in our industry.

@Are0h Maaaan where was this post last night when I was coding 'til 5am?! Hahaha!

It's very easy to get caught up in our goals and dreams while neglecting your wellness. Next thing you know, you're bloated, sick, and at the reaper's doorstep with a bag full of money that you'll have to either spend on your recovery, or leave behind when you pass on.

Give thanks for the reminder!

@kylinux Yeah, man. That's the big swindle, right? Sure, the money is nice, but if you don't have the life where you can appreciate it, or even worse it costs your wellbeing to achieve, what's really the point?