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A friend: Hey Ro. You're not wrong, but you're really hard on white folks.

Me: So?

Friend: Have you ever thought about being the bigger person? Your words kind of cut sometimes and maybe taking the edge off them might help reach them?

Me: I'm not trying to reach white folks, so no. And considering the history of oppression that is still killing people in the States, I'm being the *bigger person* by not hating white people period.

Friend: Damn. I didn't think about it like that.

@Are0h It’s very telling how white people are never asked to be the bigger person in these situations

@amydentata Consistently.

That strongly implies intent, but we're supposed to just ignore that.

@Are0h I smile at strangers and am very friendly to people I don't yet know well, but I'm actually considering stopping this. I worry that my friendliness is misleading.

I think one of the reasons many Americans seem unable to understand the magnitude of the physical and psychological brutality of whiteness is because they can't imagine how we could stomach even giving them the time of day given how bad things are.

@Are0h It's a miracle of graciousness that we don't walk around all day with both middle fingers in the air, tbh.

@ash If Black/Brown folks REALLY wanted to harm white people, this country would have been over a long time ago.

We serve the food, drive the buses and take care of their children.

We're not taught to hate everything like white people are, so we don't view the world in such a binary way like they do.

Which is probably one of the main things saving them, if we want to keep it all the way real.

@Are0h I was in a forum about ending white supremacy, and someone asked "well what are you saying we should do instead, should we just bow down and worship black people now?"

And I realized they literally could not conceive of a society without nonconsesual domination/subjugation dynamics. That's the binary their minds can't escape. It was creepy as hell.

@ash White people are so worried about us treating them like they've treated us, which is symptom of their entitlement as they believe every culture is like theirs.

It's pointless trying to negotiate with that conditioning if they refuse to do any work themselves.

And a majority of white people believe we *owe* them the emotional labor required for them to be decent people.

But in reality, that's just some racist bullshit to make themselves feel better about being garbage.

@ash If a friendly person is what you are, be that. How white folks react to it is irrelevant.

Honestly, I think it's because most Americans don't want understand. We see white folks empathizing with plants, animals and imaginary characters on tv all the time, but when it comes to Black and Brown folks, all that empathy magically vanishes.

And it's not our responsibility to give white America their humanity back after they threw it away for the sake of their feelings.

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