I would get along with so many more people if they just apologized because the misunderstood me and we just kept it moving.
But people like to perform even when they are flat out wrong for the sake of their pride.
It is foolish to allow your ego to be an obstacle when connecting with someone. Don't be that person.
I'm an extremely open minded person and a great listener. I like hearing new and perspective challenging ideas.
What I'm not is a person that will respond well to toxic interactions and bias manipulations for the sake of conversation.
We all make mistakes. Ha, I made a blunder earlier this week. That's cool. No one is perfect.
I open to working with folks to resolve misunderstanding so we can move on. I prefer it actually.
But grand standing when you're flat out wrong bores the shit outta me
It's kind of remarkable to me how people interpret objectivity to be how long will a person endure one's non-sense for the sake of keeping an exchange going.
As if a requirement for honest conversation is putting up with someone's non-sense until their insecurity is assuaged enough to feel comfortable and not threatened.
I believe this is bullshit. It's not that hard to be firm and opinionated w/o a being a fountain of toxic slurry because one feels threatened.
We can do better.
@Are0h I should sell shirts that sell "I don't talk to toxic" because I need at least 7.
@alice Ha, for real. I need one that says USE YOUR WORDS
this reminds me of an incident a few years ago when I was in an IRC channel and all of the white people were defending this clearly racist asshole, it made me uncomfortable having been the target of white people racism before
so eventually BLM came up and i said something like "well, the people who are involved in black lives matter have a right to the redress of their grievances"
that guy went from just being subtly racist to basically calling me a "[racist slur here] lover" and going on about how cop lives matter and so on
the moral of the story, i suppose, is that sometimes, i guess, it is better to just bait these people into showing their true colors because your average white person seems to be really dense towards it in my experience
@kaniini Kinda, but in my experience, just me existing is enough to 'bait' white people into showing what they are.
I've kind of made a sport out of it because I think it's important to strip away the anonymity, but it doesn't take much to get them to reveal their racism. It's such a big part of that culture.
yeah, anybody who is definitely 'out' is going to be a target by those people.
i could definitely place you into that IRC channel where that was going on and imagine the guy in question completely flipping shit over it :)
and of course trying to blend in, is in it's own way, a way of self-induced cultural erasure
@kaniini Yeah, exactly. There is nothing that will satiate that bigotry, not matter what they claim.
They just hate people that aren't like them. That's the primary trait of people that identify as white.
@Are0h right? some points of view, behaviours, etc already win when you take them serious enough to deem them worthy of being engaged in honest discourse.
it’s no shortcoming to deny them that, it’s treating them like they ought to be treated.
@Are0h I would settle for people backing up their assertions with data THAT ISN'T CHERRY-PICKED to support their idea. As in, they find something that supports them, but look at the info in greater detail and find, 'oh, this doesn't support my assertion at all. In fact, it supports the other guy's. I think I'll point that out.'
It is SO important when entering into a discussion to be willing to have your opinion turned.
@StephanLoy Hell man, me too. It would be so much easier to communicate people if we could meet on the common ground of reality.
But you know how it goes, especially in this day and age. People pick the 'facts' that support whatever they want to believe and discard the rest.
Ha if they look up anything at all.
Many people interpret my lack of interest in engaging with certain types of toxic behaviors as arrogant and close minded.
Ha, but they're usually bigots, so I'm fine with that.
I just think communication isn't that hard if you consider what you're saying, even in moments when you put your foot in your mouth like I did.
It just takes a little more effort.